Frequently Asked Questions

No, this is not group therapy. ‘Quit Porn’  is an 8-week skills training, psychoeducation and support group. Each group session is co-facilitated by two experienced mental health professionals working together to provide you with an educational, supportive and healing experience. Still, it's important to keep in mind that this is different from therapy.

In some cases, therapy may actually be the more appropriate option for you to get the care and healing you are seeking. If you have sexual trauma, compulsive sexual urges, or a serious mental illness, for example, please let us know during your application process. We can help clarify the strengths and limitations of our program and whether it would be a good fit for you and your goals.

If you're feeling conflicted about quitting porn, you're not alone. It's completely normal to still see some value in using porn and feel hesitant or unsure about letting it go. After all, it's played a role in your life. Our approach is rooted in compassion and practicality — we won't pressure you to quit cold turkey or make any lifelong commitments. Too often, that only leads to more shame when slip-ups happen. Instead, we focus on progress, not perfection, and measure that progress by the skills you develop along the way. This is your journey, and wherever you are on it, we're here to support you in understanding, exploring, and becoming more aware of your porn use and its impact on your life. Have more questions? Fill out our quick 5-minute application online, and we'll schedule a time to chat.

While we can't guarantee confidentiality, we do take breaches of trust very seriously and will address them appropriately. Building a sense of mutual trust is crucial in a group like ours. We expect everyone to respect the privacy of group members and to not share personal details outside of group. 

Porn is a tough topic to talk about, and we respect that it takes time to open up. This is an interactive group, and we expect all members to participate, but at a level that feels safe for you. We'll help guide everyone into meaningful interactions without leaving anyone behind.

No. Discussing pornographic content in detail would be inappropriate for our group setting and in most cases would be counterproductive. That said, we have seen time and time again that  shame tends to 'live in the specifics' — in the specific areas we are most afraid to talk about. We’ll clarify some guidelines around sharing in our first session. For now, all you need to know is that you’ll never be pressured to reveal something that you aren’t ready to talk about. And, if and when you decide that you are ready to share something difficult, you’ll have different environments in which to do that: With your accountability partner, with us, or with the group as a whole.

No. This program is about creating a non-shaming culture. Your progress is yours to track. We recommend that you measure progress not by the number of days you've gone without porn, but by the number of times you are able to successfully process a difficult emotion or an urge to use porn. We'll talk much more about this in the program. For now, you can rest assured that neither the Group Leaders nor your accountability partner will ever be looking over your shoulder to judge your progress. We will have plenty of opportunities in group to help you troubleshoot your particular struggles, and celebrate your particular wins. Taking those opportunities to reflect on your progress will always be up to you.

No, not in this particular group. This is a closed group, and we've designed it that way intentionally. We are dedicated to creating a learning and healing environment that is safe, consistent, and supportive for our group members. If you're unsure about joining us, the best place to start is with our online application. We'll reach out to schedule a short call in which we'll discuss your goals and get to know each other. By the end of the call, you should have a much better feel for us, the program, and whether you want to jump in.

It depends. Attendance is important, since each session builds on the last. In addition, you’ll be working with other group members and building a committed accountability partnership starting in Week 3. If you already know that you’ll have to miss one session, let us know during your application process, and we’ll find a way to work with you. Missing more than one session would be unfair to you and the group. If this isn't the right time for you to join us, you can always subscribe and stay in touch with us to hear about any future offerings.

Look, We get it. We know it can be daunting to imagine getting together with a bunch of strangers to talk about porn. There is so much shame, stigma and fear around the subject. "What if my friends find out?" "What if my partner finds out?" "Why would I want to spend time with other messed up people like me?"

If this sounds like you, then joining this group could be an incredible opportunity for you to face your feelings and negative beliefs head on. Think of it as a chance to develop courage, vulnerability, and build connections with other men dedicated to doing this same work. If you engage with this work, you can someday feel strength, courage and pride in those places where you now feel fear and shame.

By meeting online, you can protect your anonymity. And if anyone in your life asks what you're up to and you're not ready to talk about it, then you can keep it simple. "I'm in a men's group." That's the truth. And maybe, by the end of this group, you will find it easier to speak about this challenge and the progress you're making.

If finances are an issue, we have two suggestions for you. First, if you just need a little more flexibility, you might consider paying via Paypal's interest free 'pay over time' option. Many banks offer similarly affordable financing options. Second, we are offering a limited number of program scholarships. To apply for a scholarship, please start by filling out the basic application on our website. In addition, send us an email letting us know you're interested in a scholarship. Tell us the story of your relationship with unwanted porn use. Include a description of the impact porn is having in your life and what being in this group would mean to you.

No. We approach this work from a humanistic, mental health perspective. That said, we welcome participants from all faith backgrounds and all spiritual perspectives. You'll have opportunities to share about how your faith and faith communities have impacted you in your relationship with porn, for better and for worse. Just like with any group, faith groups and faith community members can heal and do harm at different times. In this group, we'll create some space to talk about these things. In addition, we encourage you to explore contemplative practices from your faith tradition over the course of the program. Oftentimes such practices can pair well with mindfulness practice (see below). The bottom line here is that everyone is welcome to join us and bring the fullness of who they are to this group. We only ask that you come in with humility and respect for others' beliefs, which means never trying to convince anyone else of your perspective.

In this group, we'll be teaching mindfulness as a skill, not as a belief system or a religious practice. For us, it’s about observing what happens without judgment—like watching clouds move across the sky, or watching the flames in a campfire. Just noticing! We’ve all had moments in which we spontaneously become mindful—even if you haven’t ever called it by that word. At 'Quit Porn,' we are confident that we can help you build mindfulness skills and begin to see what’s happening in your life with a greater sense of acceptance, instead of with self-judgment and shame. This will put you in a much better position to make positive  and lasting changes in your life. We understand that mindfulness is new for many folks. We’ll help you build these skills, no matter your experience level, and we’ll never ask you to change your beliefs in the process.

All donations are kept in a dedicated account and used to help men who otherwise couldn’t afford to join our programs—whether it’s our in-person group or the online course currently in development. We see how chronic porn use limits men from reaching their full potential. Your donation directly supports a man’s journey to becoming a stronger, more generative version of himself, which can create powerful ripple effects in his life and beyond. Even a donation of $5 can make a difference.

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. We deeply appreciate your generosity.

It's understandable to be concerned, especially if you're seeing negative impact in your loved one's life or in your relationship. It's important to remember that porn use is often a way people cope with difficult emotions, not a moral failing on their part or a lack of love for you. We suggest getting support for yourself first. Addressing this topic can be challenging due to the shame involved. Remember the "3 C's" from 12-step communities: "You didn’t CAUSE it, you can’t CONTROL it, and you can’t CURE it." You'll be better prepared to have a supportive, loving conversation with your loved one if you feel less attached to a specific outcome and have a solid support network that you can lean on.